Epidemic simulation

Interesting. And scary.

Martine Franck says...

是 故事

　　安靜無聲，如羽毛掉落在夜半映著月光的冰冷石子地。
　　遙遠的聲音，無法捉摸，在空氣中遊走，忽近忽遠，忽近忽遠，最後化為簡單的三個符號。
　　風乾了，是吊在草原上隨風擺盪的人形衣裳，輕飄飄還透著陽光與樹蔭。

　　故事中好像總該出現的主角之一，在前一集裡面莽撞的邁向大無畏理想。故事中好像該與主角之一對話的主角之二呆坐在那條街上看著四季變化，看樹從翠綠變紅繼而變禿，又從禿變綠又變紅。

　　事實上多少幻象與幾分交疊，人格打碎又重組的兩個過度完美極端，僅屬於故事裡的世界。

　　迷迷濛濛外願意相信的也只能不顧一切的相信，並且努力減少過度安靜時才聽得見的耳鳴。

About NY and Parsons

For those who knows I got accepted by Parsons with annual scholarship of 16000 USD for two years, my newest decision is: I am not going.

Let's take a quick calculation: tuition fee for each semester is 17800 USD, and it increase every year. Each year consists of two semesters. The school work is going to be insanely busy that it would be hard to have enough time to take a part time job to earn enough money. Which means, it is very likely I'll be on debt when graduate.

Then it comes to how much my parents can support me. Maximum 10000 USD a year. And they still have to pay for their own living. All that I have paid for my own tuition since the first day I enrolled in school so far is approximately 4500 USD.

So it is like I will need some 26000 USD a year including living costs.

And I've asked whom had been to Parsons asking for the details of studying & living in NY. There were too many "I thought... but then it turn out..." in her message, not about the curriculums, but realistic aspects about living. Even she tends to leave the decision to me, I can sense something impotent in her words.

So it comes to the questions of whether I could afford the debt after graduated. Maybe I am more realistic on the expense since I had several interactive art exhibition experiences and some other experiences on looking for financial support of photography exhibitions. I have SOME ideas of how the society is willing to pay for art, and a bit more ideas of what are the preference of the society. I know NY is a place where everyone can find what he/she needs. Which is something I somehow afraid of too. I will want to be an artist, and will be an artist there. Because, there won't be enough training to take me into the whole industrial process and I just know too well what I love.

Does it worth that much? The debt, and my determination. The answer is: No, I am not so determined to do it. In fact, I gradually find that I love the "elements" that involved in these things, but how it is executed is not what I want. Uhm, blur? I still don't know how to explain it clearly yet. All I know is, this is not going to lead me to where I want to be. Even though Parsons is not an art school but a design school, it is a bit more realistic somehow. But still... Somehow I believe I can get to learn what I will be learning in Parsons by myself in the future. The tuition is way too high.

And, if I go there because of NY, why won't I just go there to live? Then I will only need to worry about the living costs.

Lastly, there is something going on inside myself when I was applying schools in the US this year. I want to get out of school somehow. Not leaving it totally, but I am tired of classes that only has homework instead of something substantial.

Anyway, so I am not going to Parsons.

一種午後的微光

　　現在分明是半夜，電腦撥著無印良品解散前的精選集，桌上散滿亂畫的A4白紙。不知為何，腦裡突然浮現大四上在張老師家上課的景象。也許是張老師帶來的平靜，就好像紙筆摩擦般寧靜。沒得送她最後一程，還記得自己莫名其妙的特別難過。最後一堂課，她給每個學生單獨說話，她笑著說你們都很優秀，要有信心，不要給自己壓力太大。很愛很愛她超乎病痛的微笑，與每一次努力從輪椅上起來，用盡全身力量在椅子上找到穩固的姿勢，坐著給我們上一堂堂的課。她的身上好像有一種光，一種質樸的光。
　　不知不覺的又開始想念她以及她帶來的美好。
　　嗯。

Zoology

Found this book on my shelf. Well, the older, 2004 edition. Still find it tremendously interesting. Haven't read such things for such a long time... and I actually miss it. Oh, oh well.