About NY and Parsons

For those who knows I got accepted by Parsons with annual scholarship of 16000 USD for two years, my newest decision is: I am not going.

Let's take a quick calculation: tuition fee for each semester is 17800 USD, and it increase every year. Each year consists of two semesters. The school work is going to be insanely busy that it would be hard to have enough time to take a part time job to earn enough money. Which means, it is very likely I'll be on debt when graduate.

Then it comes to how much my parents can support me. Maximum 10000 USD a year. And they still have to pay for their own living. All that I have paid for my own tuition since the first day I enrolled in school so far is approximately 4500 USD.

So it is like I will need some 26000 USD a year including living costs.

And I've asked whom had been to Parsons asking for the details of studying & living in NY. There were too many "I thought... but then it turn out..." in her message, not about the curriculums, but realistic aspects about living. Even she tends to leave the decision to me, I can sense something impotent in her words.

So it comes to the questions of whether I could afford the debt after graduated. Maybe I am more realistic on the expense since I had several interactive art exhibition experiences and some other experiences on looking for financial support of photography exhibitions. I have SOME ideas of how the society is willing to pay for art, and a bit more ideas of what are the preference of the society. I know NY is a place where everyone can find what he/she needs. Which is something I somehow afraid of too. I will want to be an artist, and will be an artist there. Because, there won't be enough training to take me into the whole industrial process and I just know too well what I love.

Does it worth that much? The debt, and my determination. The answer is: No, I am not so determined to do it. In fact, I gradually find that I love the "elements" that involved in these things, but how it is executed is not what I want. Uhm, blur? I still don't know how to explain it clearly yet. All I know is, this is not going to lead me to where I want to be. Even though Parsons is not an art school but a design school, it is a bit more realistic somehow. But still... Somehow I believe I can get to learn what I will be learning in Parsons by myself in the future. The tuition is way too high.

And, if I go there because of NY, why won't I just go there to live? Then I will only need to worry about the living costs.

Lastly, there is something going on inside myself when I was applying schools in the US this year. I want to get out of school somehow. Not leaving it totally, but I am tired of classes that only has homework instead of something substantial.

Anyway, so I am not going to Parsons.